Monday, April 14, 2008

What a Tacky Tourist Am I

I don't believe one can write about the entertainment industry and visit Hollywood (or LA...whatever), then not say anything about it. Well I visited that very place last weekend, so here I go.

Althought I was in LA for a track meet and not for sight seeing, I still managed to fit into my schedule the traditional and sometimes tacky tourist attractions. First and foremost, of course, is the Hollywood walk of fame. Had my camera not run out of batteries on the drive over to the walk I would have oh so many photos to post. But it did. So.

The walk is, well, interesting. There are loads of stars with names I've never even heard of, but just as many(or possibly even more) of which I have. More interesting to me, however, was the front of Grauman's Chinese Theater where celebrities will imprint their hand and feet into a concrete slab next to their signature. I searched and searched for celebricious hands or feet that could rival mine in size and only found two, whose names I will not disclose for several reasons, but mainly I am just shocked and somewhat appalled at the physical sizes of the celebrities! Judy Garland could have been a porcelain doll!

A similar shock came after I visited the Wax Museum. Again, I wish I could have had a working camera, but I will forever have the picture of Arnold the Barbarian burned into my mind. Just think, California, he's your governator!

In my opinion, the Wax Museum wasn't exactly worth all the hype. Besides having all the figures behind velvet ropes and not being to pose with them(not that I could have, but still), I found that there weren't as many famous faces as I would have liked to see. There were several Johnny Depps and Angelina Jolies, but no Denzel Washington or Nicole Kidman or Meryl Streep- the actors that are really worth their salt (although Depp really is quite talented).

Before I left famed Tinseltown I had to make a stop at luxurious Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, but not before donning my nicest threads. Needless to say I felt glamorous(but still blatantly an imposter) while strutting amongst limousines awaiting their celebutante shopping queens in designer duds and oversized sunglasses. I also kept on saying 'that's just fabulous daaahling' so much that I think a few people actually realized I wasn't one of them. Apparently big bucks can't buy a sense of humor, or at least an appreciation for sarcasm.

Overall, LA is pretty to look at and nice to visit, but it does have its faults (ba dum chhhh!). Traffic and pollution aside, there's the false assumption that it's all beauty and glamour, when in reality the vast majority of their population resides in middle class condos, which isn't bad, it's just not all Bel Air or Beverly Hills. It's important to remember that almost all things you hear in the tabloids or see in the movies are fake, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy them.

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